SquarePeg Books

As we enter the typically most stressful time of the year (for the US, anyway), I am forced to review my life (again).

Family circumstances have changed: there have been deaths, there have been kids going to college, there are kids learning to drive. Injuries that didn’t seem like much at the time but have become obvious as time has passed. Budgets that have been thrashed and need to be re-adjusted for the fourth time. Goals that were supposed to be a thing accomplished, but we embraced distractions, instead. Responsibilities dropped, more piled on, expectations from everyone different from what everyone else has.

Some would argue that this sounds more like a New Year’s post, but let’s be honest: between now and New Year’s, who has time to THOUGHTFULLY consider what went sideways and what we want to change in the coming year? Better yet, WHY do we wait until the next year to do that?

The relentless approach of the holidays is one I dread. I have to plan and accommodate and change the plan and adjust my schedule and realize I forgot something important (4 separate events) and scramble to fit the corrections in and pull at least one all nighter and, and, and . . .

That’s a normal holiday season during a normal year. This last year has been more challenging for me than others. It’s hard to tell if it’s due to a mild TBI from the early summer, or if it’s menopause onset, depression, too many eclipses in one year, or a lifetime of slacker-tude finally catching up to me while Father Time is knocking on my window to catch my attention, pointing to his wrist-watch as I look over.

It’s just amping the anxiety of anticipation because I know I have to try harder to be a decent person during this time frame, but I’m always so tired, now.

I’m fortunate in that having worked a lot of extra time in the last two months, my hours have been dramatically slashed at least until the end of the year. In theory, I have space to breathe, space to address the things I let slide, space to figure out how to knuckle down and change a habit or two.

Perhaps this Holiday Season will be different. Perhaps I can develop a strategy to stay sane, focused, and on track.

What do you do?