SquarePeg Books

I’m feeling desperate, lately. Like I’m running out of time.

I didn’t feel like that in 2020. In 2020, I felt isolated. I had plenty of UnFinished  Objects lying about–projects I’d started and then put aside for whatever reason. An embarrassing amount of craft supplies that languished in storage because I would get to them, “someday.”

2021 was supposed to be the year I got back to writing, because I’d cleared enough physical and psychological clutter that I’d feel lighter and freer and less compelled to consider non-writing crafty things.

In 2020 I made a significant dent in the UFO list, although there is more to do to really bring things down to the reasonable level.

And I often “find” more, though “find” is in quotes for a reason. Like when Governor Polis of Colorado signed an order to ban single use plastic bags by 2024. 2023 is when a price per plastic bag is enacted to phase out their use.

My first thought was: “I have enough scrap fabric that I could probably quilt it all together and make my own bags.” (Side note: I have bags already. I’ve had them and used them for 20 years, but they’re net bags, and they’re starting to fall apart, so replacing them is going to have to happen, anyway.)

Then I thought, “Wait. How many MORE projects am I adding? Can I afford to add more projects?”

Better yet, WHY am I adding these projects? Shouldn’t I be using this energy towards writing, even if all I do is scribble random notes or emails to myself?

I’ve been told I’m resting and resetting myself when I’ve brought these thoughts up to others. “You’ve got a lot going on that you aren’t being given a choice to deal with. Go easy on yourself.”

“With what time?” I wonder. After all, books don’t write themselves, and the numerous ideas one may have are nothing if you can’t get them out and expressed to others.

And another project: my She-Shed, my Shed of Craftiness, my personal Sanctum Sanctorum, MY INVIOLABLE SPACE, now has electricity! Now I’m moving all my creative stuff from the house into MY SPACE and setting things up just so. Which means going through boxes and sorting and discarding and coming up with more projects to do because now that I have the space to actually go through all my crafty things without worry of impinging on someone else’s space, I discover I have stuff to sew this thing and spin that thing and build this other doohickey and I have a writing corner carved out with my desk and all but its really distracting to go in there and write because while my family isn’t in there and I don’t have to worry about setting up everything to work only to have to move it an hour later there’s so much other stuff to do that might actually get me that hit of instant gratification with the neurochemicals and then setting up the shed is not going as fast as I would like because I’m recovering from foot surgery still and for some reason I’m expected to be a semi-decent mom and oh, yeah there’s this other thing and that thing and I’d like to start this other project too because it just sounds nifty even though it has nothing to do with writing and-

You get the idea.

Check out the Insecure Writer’s Support Group to see more writers dish about their concerns, their solutions to various problems, or their favorite random side-quests to distract themselves from writing.