SquarePeg Books

Someone recently asked me why I don’t distribute writing advice.

I found that question adorable.

There is writing advice ALL OVER THE INTERNET. You can’t sneeze without stumbling over someone’s magic formula for writing advice.

“But you should post writing advice. All the other authors do it.”

Well, not ALL the other authors do it. There are a lot that don’t. But in order to prevent myself from being buried in the landslide of popular opinion, I shall disseminate my worthy advice:

1. Sit your ass in the chair and write. “I’m busy.” So am I. I complain about it all the time. Some days are great for writing, some weeks are wretched for it. Stories don’t write themselves. There are people even busier than me that find the time. I have been in places where the environment is not conducive to writing and I pulled out my phone and word-barfed with my left hand and a stylus to send an email about a scene to myself (tapping out scenes left handed while donating plasma is hard, and there are so many spelling and grammar errors that make me wonder if I wasn’t drunk at the time, but it goes to show that it can be done. Painfully, but it can be done, and it’s better than relying on your memory to pound out a scene sketch later.)
2. Learn the rules of grammar and spelling for the language your are writing in. This is important. The joke about the purple octopus wearing an aardvark’s underwear is only funny if it’s communicated correctly. “Octopus aardvark purple panties wears,” doesn’t quite make it.
3. Discard the rules as needed. This is one that a lot of people don’t talk about, but it should be noted. Sometimes a scene is best communicated when the rules of grammar, spelling and punctuation are dumped. This is a valid artistic choice, but one that needs to be done with careful consideration.
4. Learn about business. Like it or not, self-publish or traditionally published, if you publish with the aim of getting paid for it, you are a small business owner and you need to learn about what that means, how to plan and budget and taxes and reading contracts yourself and understanding what, exactly, you are agreeing to when/if you sign it. Copyrights, trademarks, piracy, platform TOS’s that change more often than some people change their underwear, these and more are all things you need to grok if you’re going to do the “publish for money” gig.
5. Pantser or Plotter doesn’t matter. The technique that is superior is the one that works the best for you.

There. Now you have all the advice of the ages to write. Go forth and word-barf something.