SquarePeg Books

I’ve conquered my email backlog of a year.  And been able to keep on top of it. Mostly.

I have my backlog house maintenance list that I am slowly working through.  I still have to get back into the habit of reading other blogs and…social media (ick).  The crafting backlog is scary as hell. The To Be Read pile is threatening to gain sentience before I get through it (let’s be honest – I’ll never get that pile whittled down; there will always be something new to add). I’m trying to find a pattern/schedule that will work for me throughout the year (*snicker* optimistic me is so adorable!), which takes time, but at least I’m not blinking in confusion at three copies of the same list. (Now I’m reeling down the street like someone who’s drunk, but still has some sense of purpose.)

It takes a while to get on track. I wasn’t expecting that. The last few years I’ve honestly believed that once I got the schedule/list sorted (when the time is available to do such sorting) then a choir of angels will sing out from the heavens, scaring the shit out of me, but also confirming that I  am back on track and will be able to pursue each day with a focus that ends in tangible results. Every Day.

Reality says: Not so much. Lists are good. Direction is good. Goals are awesome. Having an outline of a plan of things to accomplish makes finding the path through Life’s wilderness so much easier.

But Life does not always follow the path of least resistance, and a rock that has grown moss on its ass resists movement like you would not believe.

One day I’ll feel like “yes! I’m back in the groove!” The next 3 days are “Aw, damn. I’m not in the groove. I can’t see the groove. I’m not sure the groove is even on this road. Am I supposed to be in a groove, or is saying “I’m in the groove ” an unhealthy coping mechanism for denying that I’m trapped in a rut?”

A week later I’ll feel all groovy again and get back with The Plan. Which common wisdom states never survives contact with the enemy, so perhaps I should identify The Enemy? Am I my own worst enemy? Oooooo… planning against myself isn’t easy. I should make a plan for what to do when I go off the plan. Do I smell chocolate?