SquarePeg Books

This is what life is going to be like when the kids are in school, so why don’t I just start getting into the groove now?

I ask myself that. A lot. Especially now.

The kids are at day-camp, which is a lot like school hours for this particular program. I’ve got an idea for how to arrange a daily/weekly schedule. I have a list of things to do that aren’t writing, but there’s also a time limit: 2 hours. I work on the big, sweaty, tool swinging To-do things for 2 hours a day, and then I’m done for the day on that item. Shower, dress, 1 load of laundry, lunch, spot clean 1 area and then I write.

Except that last line item isn’t happening.

Is it the idiot box (once the tv, but now applied to my phone because of this ability to carry YouTube and innumerable documentaries and science shows wherever I go)?

Am I just honestly that tired, both physically and mentally?

Is my brain rebelling against the idea of a schedule or just this particular schedule concept that I banged out (which I came up with after a great deal of thought and consideration of other authors published schedules and then my own personal quirks)?

Am I waiting for the Muse (her past history doesn’t make her what I call “dependable”)

Am I just not willing to get caught up in a story, knowing that I’m going to have to entertain the kids on my own for 3-4 weeks at the end of July until school starts up? (It absolutely destroys the ability to write when you have small people demanding attention at exactly the moment you start getting going on writing…)

Am I sabotaging myself for some dumb-ass reason?

I did expose some of my thoughts on the Point of Publishing earlier this month, and I listed doubts and negative musings there. And to be honest, said doubts are quite terrifying in that there is no real answer until you just jump in a flail about for a few years (like ten or so). I know I should be writing. There is no expense to writing. Writing now means I don’t have to bang my head against the wall later.

Damn, I’m so tired.

Am I really tired, or just being whiny? I can put my butt in the chair and type. It doesn’t take that much energy to do.

Ugh. Thinking. Blorg….

Is my writing brain out of shape? Like the former jock who got out of a daily schedule of working out for a years because “life happened” and then discovers that getting back into shape wouldn’t be nearly so hard if he’d just put some regularly scheduled effort into maintaining some of it?

The list of things to do isn’t that hard, just time consuming. What about the pictures from Iceland? I can work on editing those. Or email. Just read the Dictionary’s Word of the Day email. You can do it.

Ick. No. I want to lay down.

This is not professional behavior, Katty. Professionals put in their time, every day.

Professionalism can go suck an egg.

Do you want to write stories or not?

I do. But I feel all sludgy-mudgy. Even in the brain.

I’m suspecting you’re just lazy.

I suspect we’re just crazy talking to ourselves like this. Just saying….

Well played…